Whole30 Day 11 - Breakfast

Leftover baked sweet potato and 1/2 a packet of tuna in water.

I'm feeling pretty uninspired for breakfast. I actually am feeling pretty uninspired food-wise in general. I am going to the store to get some stuff to make breakfast muffins for tomorrow.

I should be calling this the whole45 really. I am glad I am going about this the way I am. I planned in the beginning to do this until the end of April, to use these last two weeks of March to understand HOW to eat and WHAT to eat and I am definitely learning a lot about food and cooking and myself.

I have been really stressing out over every little thing this whole time. So worried I am eating too much or not enough and it's really a lot to handle. That on top of trying to find grass fed meat and only stuff with no additives, that really limits my choices a lot and I think it was starting to make me mental. For example, I am not a huge fan of eggs, but if I could put some turkey sausage in it I would be fine, but all the sausage I can find (turkey, chicken etc.) all have additives for color so I wouldn't buy them. (Even though I found 2 packs of chicken sausages on sale for ONE DOLLAR at Food Lion the other day which I am now kicking myself for not buying.)

The point is, I have been agonizing over buying the perfect food I have lost sight of what this is about.

I made a decision last night that today I was going to treat myself for trying so hard that I made myself a bit crazy, then move on and try to do better. I thought, i'll buy myself a chocolate bar or something else that I enjoy, but still eat normal the rest of the day, just one treat, nothing that will carry over leftovers like ice cream or something. I made peace with that, it wasn't a rash decision, it was me rewarding myself for trying so hard I made it harder for myself. It was me telling myself it is ok to have a treat once in a while as long as it isn't because of emotional eating or boredom etc.

Today I have been thinking about what I want to have and I really don't want anything. Sure there are things that would be tasty to have but I don't know if I really want anything. I think I am afraid that one chocolate bar will undo everything and cause me to binge. But really, my brain says 'oooh chocolate is tasty!' but my body says 'Yea, so?'

This is HUGE for me. Huge. Only people who really know me would even understand how huge that is for me.

Anyway, I am going to spend the last week of march trying to relax and stop stressing and just start trying to eat healthy food. That means I don't HAVE to buy only grass fed meat or refuse to buy something because it has a color preservative in it. I will do the best I can within limits and that's all I can do.

I have never been to sam's club, does anyone know if they have a butcher case? Decent meat? I don't have a membership there and I don't want to buy one just for produce, but if they have decent meat I would consider it.