Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Hard times.

Days like this are what make this change feel impossible. I try, I really do, to not weigh myself every day. But I can't not do it. I need that reward, that motivation. When I am actively TRYING to be healthy I need that reward on the scale to show me my hard work is paying off. Unless I get a day like I have had the last few days. I am eating healthy, I even didn't have ANY nuts yesterday and less fruit than usual. I did not lose even an ounce (my scale measured pounds and ounces) Monday or Tuesday, today I got up expecting to be the same weight for 3 days in a row, but no. I GAINED .8. I feel defeated. I can gain weight eating crap food! Why bother eating like this and feeling depressed about foods I long for if I am going to gain the weight back anyway? Yes, I know our bodies fluctuate weight, but I am not some semi-fit girl who is close to her goal weight. I have a GOOD 60+ pounds to lose. I was eating bad and not exercising, you would think the weight would be falling off, dripping off. But it seems that after the initial water weight came off, that's it. Why? Now I really feel like throwing in the towel which is stupid, but I am angry at my body.

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